For the first time in my short 9 year teaching career, I will not report to work tomorrow. I guess part of me hoped that I'd get a small miracle and get called back. However, that just didn't happen. I can't think of a fall that I didn't go to school, either as a student or as a teacher and this just sucks. (I'm done mincing words-it SUCKS!!!) My students would probably cheer to hear me use language like that, or they are going "Mrs. SHIKE!! I didn't allow them to use language like that in our classroom. I went and helped the hubby get his room ready today-I ripped down all his old bulletin boards and we got new ones up. It felt good-like it should. But then I came home and realized it wasn't mine and it just made me sad.
I put on a brave face and try and get through my day, but I struggle inside. It doesn't make it easier-knowing that there are games being played all over the place. I've applied for over 100 jobs (87 different postings in many different districts) and have had 2 interviews-one of which I was a token interview. It's disheartening to know that I am a good teacher, I work hard and I can't work this year. Not that I physically can't, but that I am unable to find a job where I can showcase my talents.
I've actually considered leaving educating all together, but I just can't. It's my passion, my love and my life (second to my family of course). So those of you headed to your jobs tomorrow-if you aren't doing what you love, why do it? Find your passion and work it! Those of you who love your jobs, congrats-I envy you. I want to go to work-I really do. I'm tired of games and being treated like a number. I want to do what I love and love what I do.
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