Thursday, February 3, 2011
Nearing the end
I have to admit, as excited as I am for graduation, I am very nervous. Over the last 10 months, I've learned so much. I struggle to try and implement the things I've learn for various reasons. We have limited technology in our building, many sites are blocked and take weeks, if not months to get unblocked, and then there's the time factor. When would I implement a lesson that I've spent hours planning, in addition to all the mandates being handed down from the district. It's overwhelming at times to think about all I've learned and all that's not being used right now.
Ideally, I'd love a position as a technology teacher. Someone who can plan dynamic and engaging lessons and teach them in classrooms. As glorious as that sounds, that would involved putting myself out there as a job applicant again. That's something I am not sure I am ready to do just yet. I love the building I work in and the staff and kids, so it's a comfort things right now. I could possibly find something within the district, but that means I'd have to give up my current position and that's not something I am willing to do.
Beyond that, there's a feeling of loss for me. When we're done with month 12 and have graduated, what will occupy my time. I know I will spend more of it with my kids, but not being connected to my classes and work will create a void in my life. It's almost like losing a loved one. I've really enjoyed my time at Full Sail and forging the friendships has been a very unexpected benefit to the program. I've met and become friends with some truly amazing people, people who will always hold a special place in my heart. It will be a little strange to not have a weekly connection during WIMBA, or projects to collaborate on. Now I am sure that we will stay in touch, but I am guessing the frequency of our communications will diminish a bit.
When I started looking at getting my master's degree it was really more for the pay raise than anything else. I wanted to get it and get it done before the kids got involved in school and sports. Researching programs lead me to talk to others with their master's degree and a friend turned my in the direction of Full Sail. I am a firm believer in fate and I feel that her pointing me in the right direction was a fateful moment for me. Because of her, I've met my wonderful friends and learned all the things I've learned. After the first few months of the program, I realized this was something different than I had intended it to be. It became something I was truly passionate about. I've poured my heart and soul into all that I've done for the last 10 months and intend to do the same for the last two.
Last summer, I ran my first 5K race. I trained for weeks and weeks to get ready for it. When I finished, I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. I can't imagine the feelings I will have at graduation. This was something I couldn't train for. I just jumped in blind and kind of hoped for the best. I've gotten so much more out of it than I ever intended to. Like I said, I just wanted the pay raise.
After all is said and done, I will have to step out of my comfort zone. I am going to have to use what I have to better education. This has been my training for that. It's like training for a 1/2 marathon (something I will being shortly), when the end is near, the tough get going. It's going to be a trudge to the finish line, but what comes after that is what matters.
Labels:
end,
feelings,
graduation,
month 11
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Wow Andrea way to put it out there. I applaud you for sharing this with us, with me! I some cases I can definitely get where your coming from and I'm sure that the opportunity will open up to have your cake and eat it to. Remember your job is now to tear down those barriers and make them re-write those policies and procedures because you have proven the technology has its place in the classroom. Use technology to educate the parents in turn that will have the parents excited enough to ask for more technology out of the classrooms. It may start as a sponsored after school group that flourishes into a class. Remember the administers of today don't what we are learning as plausible but there is one that does. Find that one and link up with him or her and share ideas. Share your research if it is pertinent to your idea. It has to start somewhere find that place, make it so, and ENGAGE (In the great words of Dr. Reo)!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your concerns and feelings... It's a special experience to go through this online learning thing with what has become special friends.
ReplyDelete